It happens often when I hear from my students: “I couldn’t approach that girl because she looked unapproachable.” Well, it’s just an excuse because there is a big difference between TO LOOK UNAPPROACHABLE and TO REALLY BE UNAPPROACHABLE. The meaning you give to “unapproachable” – it’s in your head, it’s NOT real. Yup, that’s it! Welcome to the real world, Neo!
Let me explain you something: many women wear masks “bitchy cold queen” or “miss independent” because they are very insecure, very weak inside. Those mask they are wearing is a self-protection mechanism, many of them have been hurt in the past, many of them have been abused in their childhood, many of them have very bad and heavy emotional baggage. They don’t want to appear vulnerable and they want to protect themselves from another possible heartbreak, that’s why they have built walls around them. As soon as they see a strong men that they can trust, as I said in my posts women “scan” men, they feel men, they sense men, when a woman feels she can trust a man – her mask slip off and she feels relief.
But who is a really unapproachable woman, in my opinion it’s a woman who has had a recently bad break-up or divorce. She is emotionally unavailable and hates all men around. Actually she’s not in a mood for being “picked up” or to have fun flirtatious conversation, but sometimes though it can lead for one night stand, but still its dependent on HOW you approach her and what her mood is at that moment.
Of course you don’t know in advance if she is approachable or not, just try to approach, don’t make excuses and keep approaching women you like, don’t make a drama about rejections, not everybody going to like you the same as you are not going to like and approach less attractive women. C’est la vie, baby 😉
Christina Hitch Dating coach for men in Montreal