A few weeks ago I got a message from one hell of a fascinating reader. She told me that she worked in professional companionship and escorting in the US and that if I ever needed any content about sex work, she’s down for an interview. I obviously said – YAAAS GIRL!

Given that sex work is far from being legal in most of US except for a few places in Nevada, my interviewee chose to stay anonymous which was totally cool with me as long as I got to read all the scoops about the industry. I’m so ridiculously fascinated by the world of sex work and what pushes men and women to choose this path as a career. I literally couldn’t wait to get her to open up and, let me tell you, she had absolutely no problem with it. You aced this Q&A, girl!

The interview turned out pretty lengthy (and super interesting), so let’s get straight to it.
Describe your typical working day (or night) – what’s your schedule like?

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I decided I was done working late night hours, that’s why I quit working in the Restaurant industry. So I gave myself office hours. I generally wake up around 5 or 6 AM with my other half, see him off to work. Then I make sure that everything is nice and neat and organized, anything valuable or controversial put away. I light candles throughout the house to give it a nice ambiance. Then I go and pick out whatever im going to be wearing for them, assess any requests they may have asked for, and make sure the room I work out of is stocked with whatever supplies I may need, has fresh sheets, and is ready to go. After the house is all set up, I shower, shave, manicure, lotion, brush teeth, hair & makeup and get dressed.

About and hour prior to the appointment I’ll confirm it again with the client, and fifteen minutes prior to the time they choose, I give them my house number. Once they get here I warmly greet them. I don’t like for anyone to feel uncomfortable and invite them to follow me to the work room. It’s very important that before I say or do or show anything that I make sure they either put their donation down or that they touch me or become nude to reassure they most certainly are not law enforcement. I’ll ask them if they need a drink or anything of the like and show them where the rest room is. Then I set a timer on my phone as to keep track of time. Then we get to it!

I would say the session is usually finished before the timer ever goes off, but if it does and I don’t have another appointment after, I’ll offer an extension for the session, if they decline I offer to see them again soon and see them out. Once they leave I lock the door, go hide the money, change sheets and take care of the garbage, basically reset my entire work space for the next client, shower and do it all again. I only work from 9 AM- 4 PM to set boundaries for myself so I don’t get burnt out. I really love the motif “Quality over Quantity,” that’s kind of my mission statement. But I also have a life, so I try not to let work takeover and run every facet of mine.
How much money do escorts make in the US? Do you consider it “easy money”?

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It depends solely on how you value yourself. Personally speaking my “donation” requirements are usually 100/ Fifteen minutes, 160/ Half Hour, and 300/ Hour. Higher rates does make it easier to weed out potentially problem clients, but in my opinion if you’re going to be charging higher rates, you need to be different and take it seriously.

The more genuine or in shape you are, or the better screening and safety you provide for you and the client the higher you can charge, in my opinion. I have a lot of clients argue and tell me that they had one girl at one time or another who would only charge $100 for an hour, but at the same time, she never asked him for STD results, and didn’t require protection and was a higher risk situation over all.

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If you value yours and your clients’ safety, discretion, and quality of service, don’t sell yourself short. However, don’t think you’re going to make $1000/ an hour either, now and then yes, a crazy tipper or odd client will come in and basically give you what seems like their life savings and soul, but it’s not every single client.
What made you decide that this industry is for you?

Oh wow, I love this question! 🙂 In my past relationships I would always date someone for a very long time, but I realized as I looked back on them, and me being single after most of them, I would inevitably end up at some bar after working my shift at the restaurant serving tables or bartending, looking for someone to hit on, to go home with, or to reciprocate those things onto me.I learned that I loved the thrill of the hunt, but as soon as I got it, realized that person no longer was of any interest to me, I just was attracted to that spark. So as soon as I knew I had them, I was totally unattached and definitely didn’t want to date them. It’s a confidence and power thing I think for me.

Well at 26, I was finally hanging out with someone whom I’d had open conversations with and we both agreed I would never marry or even date, (we’ll call him N). We were solely friends with benefits.

All of a sudden, I was having car and financial trouble and so was N. I didn’t know what to do, but someone [once] told me about Back Pages and Craigslist, so I checked it out and started working independently so I could help out my friend, and help myself out of debt as well.

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If I had only charged those guys I had one night stands with [that I found at the bar], I would have been way ahead and it would have been a lot safer, honestly. Unfortunately, people of all sorts check these things out. One of N’s best friends found the ad, texted me about it and basically told me that if I didn’t tell him he would. N was on his way to pick me up when he called me and said his friend wanted him to stop by the bar, ”It’s probably about fantasy football or something”, [he said]. Boy oh boy, “or something,” I knew that he was going to show him my ad.

Needless to say that whole thing blew up, but instead of lying about it I absolutely owned up to it. People are funny, his friend who showed him and everyone else at the bar then proceeded to try and book me the next day, after basically ruining a really great friendship and crushing N’s heart. Ironically, N had shown me the series Firefly, written by Joss Wedon, in it there’s a character named Inara, she’s a companion. Companions are high end escorts and the most respected women in this show. I felt immediately drawn to her and her methodology of running things at the level of respect that she did.

After my first few clients, I felt so empowered. Oddly I feel like this is what I’m meant to do. I feel like I’m helping people, because as weird as it is, I’ve learned that even if men have to pay for it, the majority of the time, they just want someone to pretend that they care and that they are listening.

I wasn’t an abused child, I grew up in a great family, but I’ve always been attracted to the most taboo and sexual things. I’m no longer a slave to stress and restaurants and sacrificing holidays and important time with friends and family to barely scrape by. I do this because I enjoy it, and for once in my life I’m happy. I look at it as getting my lusts out of my system as fiscally responsible as possible. ;P
Have you ever been totally repulsed by your client? What happens then?

I always tell them hygiene is important, so If they get here and say they’re a little stinky, I politely ask them to shower. However, that comes out of their session, the time it takes them to do that. But for the most part, the guys are super nervous and are super thorough with that.

It’s also why I screen them first and require a photo to verify who will be coming to me. I can’t see a 400 pound man, not because it bothers me, but for my safety. In the worst case scenario, I have to be able to protect myself. I’ve never had to, but I give credit to my screening process. If someone shows up and it’s not the picture I received, or seems sketchy or problematic in any way, I don’t open my door.

Always use your gut instinct, don’t chase money. No amount of money will compensate for unhappiness. For the most part, I’m very surprised at the attractive caliber of these men and I can’t help to think “WHY ARE YOU PAYING FOR SEX?! YOU’RE SO FREGGING SEXY!!” lol But again, some men just want someone to listen and pay attention and give their time to them.
Do you love your job? Why or why not?

I do love this if you can’t tell! *wink* I finally feel like I’m in some niche where I belong, where I can do what I love, love what I do, and be the fucking best at it. I also love it because I love changing the way people perceive the sex industry and sex workers. It also helps me get a lot of lusts and fantasies out while supporting myself and being able to keep that fantasy world separate from my private life, so I don’t have to miss out on important real life things. I like the control and the confidence that it gives me. And again, me being always attracted to taboo things, it’s like my dirty secret, like I’m a sexy double agent who has this naughty secret lol It’s a personal thing, but it’s one of the main reasons I love it.
Can you still enjoy sex outside of work? What turns you on?

Absolutely. And a lot. I love when a man takes control and dominates me, even if it means tying me down to slowly make me orgasm. In the bedroom, I’m naturally a people pleaser, so unless someone holds me down and teases and pleases me until I come, I won’t. I will focus on getting them off and feel very unsatisfied unless I do.

So the idea that all decisions are taken away from me, that someone else is going to get me off in a way I can’t predict or have no control over is new and exciting and relaxing. It’s super hot to me not knowing what exactly they’re going to do next, [and that] you have no control over them making you cum […].
Have any of the clients been physically or emotionally abusive toward you? If so, how did it make you feel?

Not really, but I also enjoy serving them, I get off on turning them on. It’s sexy to me.

The closest I think I came to that was a client who loved choking me with his penis down my throat so I would gag and spit would get all over my face and he would rub the spit [on me]. However, it was my own spit, so it wasn’t dirty. And again, personally speaking, I enjoy being dominated.

In my personal life (unless it was something my partner wanted), looking like Alice Cooper at the end of my bang sesh isn’t ideal. But it’s not painful or unpleasant to me and, now and then, it is fun to switch it up and just be filthy. A lot of people have told me this will eventually scar me or make me feel less than, but in my heart of hearts, I’m not being forced to do this, I enjoy the fucking life out of this!
Is sex always the main component of your work or perhaps some of your clients just seek company? Have you ever been paid to go out for dinner, for example?

I do have quite a few clients who just want to talk or cuddle or spend time together for the majority of their session. Some guys just want to suck my feet, other like to take me out and flaunt me around. So no, not always, but usually.
Have you ever developed feelings for a client? Have you ever had a relationship with a client?

Like I mentioned before, it’s very hard for me to get attached to people. In a sense, I [quickly] get bored emotionally with people. I don’t stay romantically attached for very long. I care about my clients as people, and respect they have lives and need safety and discretion, and have certain things they want to get out of their system (like me). But no. I have fantasized about a few before though.
You said you were in a relationship – describe your dating life.

I am. Shortly after that whole incident with N, I had a long time acquaintance pester me to hangout. He had dated my best friend years earlier. I finally asked her what his deal was and if I should go with it. She told me it was some of the best sex she had ever had. I immediately agreed to meet up for drinks.

He could pick me up, but I jokingly warned him [that] I was a terrible awful person, totally intending on telling him everything, so he would have a reason not to get attached to me. As soon as he picked me up, he asked me about that. I told him everything – told him I had sex for money, about the situation with N and how it exploded in my face and how, if he didn’t like it, oh well!

I had come to a point in my life where I was done sugar coating shit. I didn’t have time to waste on people who I couldn’t trust and who couldn’t respect me for me…

You know the scene in Deadpool, where he and that girl go back and forth comparing who had a worse growing up? It was kind of like that. He listened and basically responded with “That’s the worst you’ve done? Listen to this shit kid…” We both told eachtoher we didn’t want marriage or kids or even to date, we wanted to do our own thing. That night I went home with him, we climbed on his roof, he kissed me for the first time, and I knew I was going to marry that man.

We’re still together and now discuss marriage and kids in our future. We’re both completely able to be ourselves because we were miserable for so long trying to be people that we weren’t to make other people happy. I’m one of the most unconventional people… You can’t put the most unconventional person in the most societal based conventional prison box and expect them to be happy and succeed.

Once you know what it is to truly love yourself and be free and not care what others think, you would never want anyone to feel that way. Our relationship is based on trust, communication, and respect. We’ve promised to always push each other to be better people, and for once in my life, I’m really fucking happy!

I’m lucky in the aspect that he truly trusts me and understands it’s the thrill of the hunt for me, it’s a job, almost a game. He knows it’s work and I love what I do, but at the end of the day, I want to go home to the one person who truly sees me, not what they want me to be. He sees and reminds me how beautiful my mind and soul is, how beautiful I am as a person. He sees me as a kind, funny, caring, compassionate person. He feels equally lucky and is constantly baffled and humbled every day, as I am, to be able to be with someone as truly rare and unique and free like him.

I never thought I would ever be able to be myself. I thought that I would constantly just mess up relationships, work til I die and then maybe retire and kind of enjoy my life once I was knocking on death’s door step. Being completely vulnerable and honest was equally terrifying as it was liberating. When you can really be yourself in true raw and rare form, you have an aura about you and that makes you different. As for dating advice, it would be – BRAVE AND ALWAYS BE YOURSELF, NEVER SELL YOURSELF SHORT OR COMPROMISE ANY ASPECT OF YOURSELF! By being yourself, you’ll find someone who can be themselves too.
Do your friends/family know of your occupation? What do they think of it?

Most of my friends know and when I told them, shockingly enough, they weren’t too surprised. What I did find surprising was how supportive they were.

Family…. well, I’m sure they have their ideas, but they think I work for a start up company under the table for a friend. However, If they do find out, I am an adult, I’m 27 years old. I’ve done some amateur porn work, so if I ever had to tell them, I would tell them I do porn. If they found out about escorting, well, similar to the bar scene, I would totally own up to it. However, I don’t feel like it’s something I necessarily need to bring to their attention. I’m happy and healthy and supporting myself for the first time in a long time, they can see that, so they really don’t meddle too much.
Would you want your children to work in the industry?

Honestly if they were of age, and did it the right way, I would support them. But it would have to be their own journey to get to that place and even think about working in that field. It’s not something I plan on telling my future kids. I don’t plan on making it a family business! lol
How long do you see yourself in this business for?

For as long as I’m happy doing it. I think once I’ll have kids, I’ll stop. But that’s why I am doing it now, to build a solid secure financial future for me and my family, so when I need to have children it’s not going to negatively affect our financial state. I [want to] support myself [and be able to] take the time off to raise a family having saved up and invested all that I can.
Have you ever contracted an STD from a client? Do you have to regularly get checked to remain in business?

I have not. I do full cover service unless they bring me recent STD results. When I was younger, my cousin was a hemophiliac and got HIV through a blood transfusion and it ended up progressing into AIDS and taking his life. So it’s something I’ve been always wary about.

YES! Especially if you’re doing porn with legit companies. Its called talent testing services and you get tested every two weeks. It’s strict to a point that some shoots, if you show up without your paperwork, not only do you not work that day, you also get fined for not having it with you. You’re also completely entitled and allowed (AND SHOULD) to ask for the paperwork of any other performer that you’re shooting with.

As far as escorting though, I am always safe. Again, if anything feels off in my gut I just don’t see that client.
Describe a perfect client.

Shows up on time, doesn’t try to low ball you. Is respectable, clean, and genuine. Knows what he wants, but also likes the power card of pleasing a woman. Someone I can joke around with. And, honestly, whenever they finish before the time they bought, that’s always a plus, haha!
What’s the best experience you’ve had in your career so far?

I get the compliment, “You don’t seem like the type of girl who would do this…”, “You seem like a really sweet person.”, and “That’s the best experience I’ve ever had!” a lot. I guess the best experience I’ve had though, is traveling while working and being able to change people’s perceptions about the typical working girl.

I remember one time in particular, it was a couple, they were having some intimacy issues, I was able to really help get them on the same page and reignite that flame they had let go a while ago. Things like that mean the most to me.
What’s the weirdest demand and/or place that you had to meet a client at?

I get a lot of bathrooms fetish requests, however “weird” changes as I progress in my sexual journey. I remember when rimming was really hard for me to understand, and now it’s something I honestly enjoy giving and receiving.

The weirdest thing that’s ever happened though was a guy who wanted to pay me $600 to suck my toes for one hour. I don’t care what your momma taught ya, if you don’t take that money, that’s totally your loss! Haha! It was the easiest and yet weirdest thing I’ve ever done.
Do you actually orgasm with your clients?

It is pretty difficult for me to let other people make me orgasm and I think that has a lot to do with me being more of a submissive people pleaser. Only one client has made me orgasm, but that was after a few days of being booked, horny as hell, and not climaxing. It’s like a soda bottle, you can only shake it so much before it’s bound to explode, lol!
If there was one thing you’d like to change about people’s perception of escorts, what would it be and why?

That it shouldn’t have a negative connotation to it. For the most part in the Sex Work community, the topic of our hopes and wishes of it just being legal comes up a lot. That it’s not always drug addicts and abused girls with daddy issues and “prostitutes” in the tawdry sense. Most women choose to do it on their own free will. Don’t get me wrong, there are women out there who are junkies, but again, I remind you of “quality vs quantity.” They’re probably women trading tricks for drugs, or for barely nothing, [they have no boundaries].

I want people to know I was very unhappy for a long time because my family and society kept trying to keep me confined in this tight conventional box. [I was] subconsciously imprisoned by the enslavement and boredom of barely getting by month to month, by following the rules and the American Scheme.Once I became comfortable with myself and my sexuality and started listening to what I wanted and paying attention to what felt best to me and following my own intuition, things started falling into place. First and foremost my self-esteem, confidence and happiness. It’s not for everyone, but as long as everyone is happy at the end of the day and no one is negatively affecting their own or anyone else’s well being, then let it be! We’re all human at the end of the day, and I consider myself a healer, in the most taboo of paths… and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Original at Irina Tee

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